Now you are bereaved and grieving. You have lost someone you loved deeply. You may be able to share that grief or prefer to keep it private, (which is much harder). You may have lost a loved animal. I have friends who are still deeply grieving over pets they have lost decades ago, therefore it is not at all unreasonable that you would grieve over the loss of a good friend, relative, spouse or partner.
It is probably the worse thing, (and yet the best thing), that has ever happened to you.
Now you are behaving differently, some might say strangely and irrationally. You have good reason to be changed and only those who have been truly bereaved will begin to understand. You are not mad. Far from it. You are experiencing an important and mind-changing life event. You will never be the same again and if you choose to walk with Jesus as your guide, that is, all of you, full-time, you will never look back and say the old days were better. If you are honest, you will know that, on the whole, they were not.
Keep smiling and loving others who are invariably suffering in some way, bereaved or not, having a faith or not.
Keep reminding yourself of the most wonderful things God has revealed to you, for He has at some time, and thank him, from your very heart, over and over again. I find this is by far the best way to stay inspired, positive and of help to others who need some encouragement in their lives, after all, who doesn't.
It is far better to live with a heart of love and a desire for peace and harmony with those who find you difficult to stomach than to return their possible judgmental scowls, sneers and tricks.
You might find that your relationships become strained as you do not function at your very best whilst you are grieving. Why not confuse the enemy and show him that supposed rivals can love each other and work very successfully together.
When our motivation is truly for the highest good of all concerned, and not for personal advantage, it's easy.
Keep smiling and loving people with the love of God and your heart will swell with incredible joy and your life will fill with good things. It's not work, it's love.